Dusting myself off...

Okay, so I got some inspiration today and decided to try this blog agian. I know I've been absolutely horrible about keeping it going. But I feel, no, actually I KNOW I have fallen off the wagon with dieting and anything nutriton wise lately. I figured when I was writing this the last time I was doing well and was inspired enough to sit here and write. So here I am, trying to reach that inner fitness guru once again.
I don't really know what happened. Okay, well maybe I do, I got lazy. But besides that fact, I guess I just got sick of having to think about everything. Constantly thinking "Oh, well I shouldn't have that" "I can't have this" "They may be eating that but I absolutely cannot". It just got to be a little too much. So one thing led to another and I gained my weight back. Not all of it, but enough to cause me to try and tie up my loose ends and gather all my resources to try to get my body back. I went from a 22 to a 10/12 in the summer of 2010, now in the spring of 2012 I'm back up to a 16. There I said it, a 16. It was horrible going shopping and not even being able to go the all the stores that I am so used to going to now. Instead I had to settle for JCPenny again. I like JCPenny, don't get me wrong, and I love the way they are now pricing things, but when you're used to being able to shop at American Eagle, or basically anywhere and then are narrowed down again, it's hard. So hard I started crying in the dressing room with my mom there. Summer is coming and I definiely didn't think that I would ever worry about fitting into my bathing suits again. But alas, here I am...worrying. I know they won't fit now, but I'm hoping that I can get my crap together and pull myself together anough to lose about 25 pounds before I have to worry about putting a bathing suit on. I know that none of my clothes for summer will fit me right now, and I don't even want to think about that, it will just put me into a deeper depression about my weight.
So, here's my plan: I've recently (about 15 minutes ago) texted my trainer Jimi Varner from the show. He's basically always there for me and I couldn't be happier. He's going to give me a workout plan. I told him it was for the CRIM that I always run in August, but it's for more than that. It's for giving me that boost I need, some resemblance of normalcy. I got so used to all these people around me during the show, always counting on me to lose the weight for the camera, always counting on me for everything. Well now I've got to count on myself and use the resources that I was blessed with that one summer. No more excuses about how "it's hard because I live in a dorm room and can't control what they serve in the cafeteria". If I have to go out and buy chicken and take it to my friends apartment...well then that's exactly what I'm going to have to do. I think I may even sign up to do a 5K that's coming up in April, just to give myself that little incentive.
Well I think this is enough for now...I'm at work but I just had to get this all out in the open. Kind of another way to hold myself accountable. :)

So, here's to new beginnings...again.

Empire State of Mind

So tomorrow I get to fly out of Lansing, Mi and go to NYC!! I'm so excited that I slept like crap last night and work this morning went by really slow. I just don't know how I'm going to do it because I need to pack everything in a carry-on because the airline charges for checked luggage. Helloooo! Broke college kid here!! Haha, so I definitely am going to be packing tightly. Gabriella and Marci were on Good Morning America this morning and I just watched in online. I have to say, this girl right here is jealous! I really want to do the whole publicity thing, and I mean I have done some newspapers and other things, but I'm talking the big stuff. I want to get out there and help people, especially younger kids, that are going through what I went through my whole life with being heavy. I am getting my trainers license this summer so that I can personal train people in the gym. I think it's a great way to have a summer job and stay in shape! Plus, I'll be helping people and passing the knowledge that I learned this summer on and hopefully, in the long run, creating a change in society.
I'm signing up for a few 5K races soon, and I'll talk about them later on, but you all should join me! Stay tuned for more about those!!

Have a wonderful day!!!

Long Time No See

So before the show aired I had to put this website on private so no one could view it. When I did that I kind of lost track of it and stopped writing in it, which is obvious as my last post was in early July. Then, because I lost track of it, I forgot my username and password. But today when trying to get onto my youtube account, I suddenly found it again! Weird, right? Well, sorry about the lack of writing on here. I'm going to try to write in this as often as possible now!


Thanks for viewing and come back for more soon!!!